How To Support A Trauma Survivor From ‘A Biblical Perspective’

 

This article is for those who want to know how to help someone who has experienced trauma, from ‘a Biblical perspective’. Below are some thoughts for you to consider in your desire to support someone who has experienced trauma.

 

One of the main aspects of Jesus’ ministry, as seen in the book of Isaiah chapter 61, is, ‘healing the brokenhearted or shattered’. The word, ‘brokenhearted’ in this verse is from the Greek word tethrasamenous (the perfect passive participle of thrau), and it depicts a person who has been shattered or fractured by life.

 

…’The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, Because the Lord has anointed and commissioned me To bring good news to the humble and afflicted; He has sent me to bind up [the wounds of] the brokenhearted, To proclaim release [from confinement and condemnation] to the [physical and spiritual] captives And freedom to prisoners, To proclaim the favorable year of the Lord, And the day of vengeance and retribution of our God, To comfort all who mourn, To grant to those who mourn in Zion the following: To give them a turban instead of dust [on their heads, a sign of mourning],The oil of joy instead of mourning, The garment [expressive] of praise instead of a disheartened spirit.’… Isaiah 61 (AMP)

 

In Luke 4:18 (the translation in the King James Version), the word ‘heal’ is the Greek word aphiesi, which means to set free or loosen from the detrimental effects of a shattered life.

…’The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,’… Luke 4: 18 (KJV)

The healing power of Jesus is able to completely free, release and heal people from the adverse effects of brokenness and shattering, i.e., trauma. Many times the Lord uses His people to release His healing power to those who have been broken and traumatized (especially towards those whose trust has been shattered). The journey may not always be easy but it is worth it to see someone who was once broken ‘recover’.

The goal of the Christian life is to be like Jesus Christ and to follow His ways. If we are to follow the Lord in the context of being a support person to a survivor of trauma (heartbreak), then we need to look at how Jesus helped those who were brokenhearted and traumatized.

The Word of God says that Jesus went about doing good and healing all who came to Him. Jesus did heal physical ailments, but He also healed those who had been through trauma and heartbreak.

 

Jesus said that He only did what He saw His Father do and He only said what He heard His Father say.

…‘So Jesus answered them by saying, “I assure you and most solemnly say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself [of His own accord], unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever things the Father does, the Son [in His turn] also does in the same way.  For the Father dearly loves the Son and shows Him everything that He Himself is doing; and the Father will show Him greater works than these, so that you will be filled with wonder’… John 5:19-20 AMP

Jesus ministered to others directly in relation to His relationship to the Heavenly Father. He said that His followers would do greater works than He did. Jesus also relied completely on the Father’s wisdom in dealing with people and ministering to their needs. Although Jesus was (and is) the Son of God, He was also the Son of Man. He gave up all of His power when He was born as a man, and He had to completely rely on the Heavenly Father for His supernatural wisdom, healing power, and knowledge. If you are going to support someone ‘from a biblical framework,’ then your relationship with the Heavenly Father and Jesus will be key to being able to help them.

Jesus said it this way:

…”Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither [can] you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned”… John 15:4-6 NASB

It says in the book of Proverbs that if you acknowledge the Lord in all of your ways, then He will direct your paths:

…’Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, lean not unto your own understanding, in all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths’… Proverbs 3:5-6

 

The Heavenly Father wants to give you wisdom and answers regarding how to help those who have been traumatized. He wants to show you how to handle every situation and reveal to you how to navigate the challenges and things that you will face.

The Father knows exactly what would best minister to the needs of the person who has experienced trauma. He sees the heart and inner part of mankind and He knows how to handle each person in a way that would help them and empower them to recover. We need to acknowledge the Father when it comes to helping those who have experienced trauma and pain.

 

…’But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart”… 1 Samuel 16:7 AMP

 

How Did Jesus Minister To The Traumatized

We will look at a few examples from the Gospels that reveal more about how Jesus ministered to people’s hearts and emotional traumas as He followed the Heavenly Father’s instructions.

Here are three stories from the Bible showing how Jesus ministered to the heart needs of the people (along with dealing with their trauma issues):

– The Woman At The Well- John 4:7-27

In this testimony, Jesus went out of His way to minister to this woman. He ministered to her heart in a number of ways. Jesus first surprised her by asking her for some water which was an act showing openness and trust towards her. He then not only prophesied to her and told her things about her life that only God would have known (thereby telling her that God took note of the intimate details of her life), He extended dignity towards her by even talking to her in the first place. The Jews and the Samaritans had no dealings with each other, not to mention that Jesus was a male Jew talking to a female Samaritan. Jesus not only acknowledged her as a woman, but He also offered her living water and shared with her that He was the Messiah thereby opening up the way for her eternal salvation. The Father’s love was literally pouring onto this woman that day through Jesus, and it is no surprise that she ran into the city and told the people that she believed that she had met the Messiah.

– The Paralyzed Man- Mark 2:1-12

In this testimony, Jesus met the deepest need of this paralyzed man by extending forgiveness towards him (healing his heart) and thereby opening the way for him to be healed physically. Jesus had the wisdom to know that this man needed to hear that his sins were forgiven. When a person is bound by guilt, it can be very hard for them to believe God for healing. The Heavenly Father knew what was plaguing this man and not only did He heal him from his paralysis, but He ministered to this man’s nonmaterial self even before He released him physically.

– The Woman Caught Committing Adultery- John 8:1-11

In this testimony, Jesus did a number of things that ministered to this woman’s heart. He stood up for her in front of everyone, He silenced her accusers, He extended grace and forgiveness towards her, and He literally saved her life from those who wanted to stone her to death. One can begin to see that this woman’s heart was greatly touched and ministered to by Jesus in ways that probably touched straight into the reasons that she had committed adultery in the first place. This woman was looking for love in the arms of another woman’s husband. Why? Could it have been because she was insecure about who she was? Could it have been because she had not known the love of an earthly father? Could it have been because she had never had a man look out for her before? Jesus, ‘as a man’ defended her before those wanting to kill her, He extended dignity towards her by revealing the hearts of the ones wanting to stone her to death, and He dealt with her guilt, by forgiving her and showing her mercy. He then told her to go and sin no more. Jesus didn’t start by telling her not to sin; He first met her emotional needs (thereby healing her trauma that she had) that caused her to sin in the first place.

It is important to note that in the above accounts Jesus gave His time, His love and His attention to these people which are all crucial to emotional and trauma recovery.

 

Principles From God’s Word

Along with seeking the Father and asking Him how to support and help a person who has experienced trauma (which is the very best way to go) there are other principles from God’s Word that will greatly aid your ability to be used by God in the recovery of a trauma survivor. God knows that we need His grace to walk these things out and therefore asking for His assistance regarding these Truths will allow God to empower you.

 

Below is a list of scriptures and principles from God’s Word that reveals how the Heavenly Father would have us handle situations and help those who are traumatized:

– Matthew 22: 36-40, …“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” And Jesus replied to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for others].’ The whole Law and the [writings of the] Prophets depend on these two commandments.”…

If one desires to ‘truly’ love others, one needs to first receive God’s Love for themselves. When your relationship with God is right, and you can receive His love, then you will be able to love others with the selfless, unconditional love of God.

– 1 Thessalonians 5:17, …’be unceasing and persistent in prayer;’…

Praying about everything and continually acknowledging God will help you be a better support person. Praying in line with God’s heart and Divine Will can move mountains and bring about miracles.

– Proverbs 15:1, …’A soft and gentle and thoughtful answer turns away wrath, But harsh and painful and careless words stir up anger’…

A soft answer can diffuse all kinds of intense situations that may arise when seeking to support a trauma survivor. This will be one of the most important principles to adhere to when helping someone recover.

– Romans 15:1-3, …’Now we who are strong [in our convictions and faith] ought to [patiently] put up with the weaknesses of those who are not strong, and not just please ourselves. Let each one of us [make it a practice to] please his neighbor for his good, to build him up spiritually. For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written [in Scripture], “The reproaches of those who reproached You (the Father) fell on Me (the Son).’…

This verse above contains one of the most important principles and truths to focus on when supporting a trauma survivor. You are in a position of ‘strength’ while the person who has been traumatized has suffered damage to their person (spirit, soul or body) and they may need you to put up with some of their weaknesses for a time while they are in recovery.

– Colossians 3:12-13, …’So, as God’s own chosen people, who are holy [set apart, sanctified for His purpose] and well-beloved [by God Himself], put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience [which has the power to endure whatever injustice or unpleasantness comes, with good temper]; bearing graciously with one another, and willingly forgiving each other if one has a cause for complaint against another; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so should you forgive.’…

Showing forgiveness towards the person who has experienced trauma when they act apart from their normal character (due to the trauma that they have endured) can be one of the most healing (and necessary) things you can do to support them.

– Luke 10:30-37 shares the story of the Good Samaritan

This entire story reveals God’s heart and how He would have each of us respond to someone who has been traumatized. The Good Samaritan was willing to respond when witnessing a stranger lying destitute without any help. He was willing to go out of his way and use his own resources to assist a fellow human and make sure that they were taken care of and taken to a safe place to recover. Jesus said that this is what loving your neighbor as yourself is really like.

– 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, …’Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].’…

This passage of scripture, when put into practice, can diffuse any argument or situation thereby allowing God to work. Love heals the greatest wounds, and there will be many circumstances where your patience and love is tested. Having these verses on hand as a quick reminder can be very helpful when dealing with challenging situations.

– James 1:19-20, …‘Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving]; for the [resentful, deep-seated] anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God [that standard of behavior which He requires from us]’…

Many times a trauma survivor may be saying or doing something that is hard to deal with and learning to be quick to listen (to what they are actually saying with their words or actions) and slow to speak or make judgments can be crucial in preventing delays in recovery. Trauma survivors deal with overwhelming emotions, chemical reactions in their brains and possibly pain in their bodies. Learning to truly listen and allowing them to fully express things without being quick to give your ‘view’ will allow for the deeper issues to surface thereby shortening the healing journey.

– Galatians 6:2, …’Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the requirements of the law of Christ [that is, the law of Christian love]’…

What would it look like to bear another person’s burdens? A person who has experienced trauma carries burdens, and you can help them in many ways by seeking to be understanding, patient, kind and offering to help them when they are going through a hard time.

– Galatians 5:14-15, …‘For the whole Law [concerning human relationships] is fulfilled in one precept, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself [that is, you shall have an unselfish concern for others and do things for their benefit].” But if you bite and devour one another [in bickering and strife], watch out that you [along with your entire fellowship] are not consumed by one another.’…

It goes without saying that if you are busy loving someone, then you won’t bicker and fight with them. There will be many opportunities to have strife during the recovery of a trauma survivor, but if you always seek to love the person and treat them how you would like to be treated then most of this can be avoided.

– Luke 6:31, …‘Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.’…

How would you like to be treated if you had lived through the trauma that the person you want to support has experienced? Would you like to be yelled at, or treated with contempt just because you have been traumatized, or would you prefer to be treated with kindness and understanding?

– Proverbs 3:5-6, …’Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart And do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way].’…

If you acknowledge God, you open up the way for Him to show you what is really going on inside of a person and what would best assist them in their recovery. Rather than try figure things out (and try a whole bunch of things) ask the One Who knows all things and can give you the needed insight to best help the person.

– Ephesians 4:27, …’Do not let unwholesome [foul, profane, worthless, vulgar] words ever come out of your mouth, but only such speech as is good for building up others, according to the need and the occasion, so that it will be a blessing to those who hear [you speak].’…

Trauma survivors need a lot of ‘building up’ and can be more sensitive to negativity due to the trauma that they have experienced. Trauma affects the brain, the emotions and the physiological responses of the body. Name calling and using derogatory words can do great harm to someone who is already broken down. Seek to speak encouraging and uplifting words of life, to help them recover.

– Luke 6:28-29, …’bless and show kindness to those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Whoever strikes you on the cheek, offer him the other one also [simply ignore insignificant insults or losses and do not bother to retaliate—maintain your dignity]. Whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either.’…

When seeking to help someone who has experienced trauma you most likely will be faced with that person being triggered by various circumstances or outside stimuli which undoubtedly will open up for some difficult circumstances. You will be tempted to get angry and use words that can do far more harm than good. Please always remember that the person may be facing overwhelming emotions or physical pain due to what they have faced which can cause people to lash out and act outside of their normal behavior. Always remember that blessing in response to an outburst can prevent a huge upset and diffuse many situations that could hinder recovery.

Name calling can be very destructive especially towards a person who is emotionally vulnerable while edifying and blessing a person will lift their spirits and empower them to recover.

– Romans 12:21, …’Do not be overcome and conquered by evil, but overcome evil with good.’…

You can overcome evil with good by doing good towards the person who has experienced trauma instead of being angry with them and punishing them for their trauma. If you respond in the wrong way, you will allow the evil/trauma that has happened to them (and the effects thereof) to overcome you, but if you handle the situation with love and understanding, you can overcome evil with good.

– James 3:13, …‘Who among you is wise and intelligent? Let him by his good conduct show his [good] deeds with the gentleness and humility of true wisdom.’…

Showing humility is essential when seeking to help a trauma survivor because it is easy to be prideful when you are not carrying the trauma within yourself.

– Proverbs 11:12, …’He who despises his neighbor lacks sense, But a man of understanding keeps silent.’…

This verse can not be underestimated in helping a trauma survivor. Many times being silent is the best way to show understanding. Always having to know what to say or have an answer for everything can do more harm than good. Sometimes all that the trauma survivor needs is someone who can listen and show compassion. You may be tempted to despise the trauma survivor because of ‘their issues,’ but a person who seeks to understand will have compassion and put themselves in the survivor’s shoes.

– James 5:16, …’Therefore, confess your sins to one another [your false steps, your offenses], and pray for one another, that you may be healed and restored.’…

If you are open and vulnerable, you will show the trauma survivor that they can be open and vulnerable too. Sometimes if you admit your own weaknesses, the person’s defenses can come down, and they will feel safe to admit their weaknesses as well thereby allowing God to heal them. Praying for each other will allow God to bring supernatural healing.

– Matthew 12:20, …’A battered reed He will not break, And a smoldering wick He will not extinguish, Until He leads justice to victory.’…

Jesus wouldn’t break down those who are already bruised and traumatized and neither should you. The Heavenly Father always knows how to best help those who are bruised and broken, and He doesn’t want you to break down an already broken person.

– Matthew 23: 11-12, …’Do not let yourselves be called leaders or teachers; for One is your Leader (Teacher), the Christ. But the greatest among you will be your servant. Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled, and whoever humbles himself shall be raised to honor.’…

If you come to the trauma survivor and seek to serve them instead of only trying to ‘fix’ them and tell them what to do, you will greatly speed up the process of their recovery. God anoints the humble and those who seek to serve thereby releasing His power for healing to take place.

– 1 John 3:18, …’By this we know [and have come to understand the depth and essence of His precious] love: that He [willingly] laid down His life for us [because He loved us]. And we ought to lay down our lives for the believers.’…

Laying down your life for the trauma survivor will release God’s power and healing like nothing else will. Are they triggered, seek to lay down your life by not reacting in anger, have they shown signs of PTSD yet again, lay down your life by responding with gentleness. As you lay down your own pride and your own will for this person, you will see healing start to flow into their heart and life as God’s love and power flow through you to them.

– Philippians 2:4, …’Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit [through factional motives, or strife], but with [an attitude of] humility [being neither arrogant nor self-righteous], regard others as more important than yourselves. Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.’…

The person who has experienced trauma may be in a very delicate place, and they may need you to ‘be the bigger person’. As you seek their best interest, you will lay down your desires and those things that may not be beneficial for their recovery thereby allowing yourself to be used of God to help them.

– Romans 12:15…’Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others’ joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others’ grief].’…

Sometimes someone just needs someone to cry with them. Laughing and rejoicing have a part in trauma recovery, but there are times when someone really ‘needs’ to cry and they need someone around them who can be empathetic. Crying with a person who has experienced intense trauma can be one of the most healing experiences.

– Romans 12:16 …’Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty [conceited, self-important, exclusive], but associate with humble people [those with a realistic self-view]. Do not overestimate yourself.’…

There are many things that you can avoid if you seek to show humility while you are helping someone recover from trauma. You may not have the same symptoms or the effects of the trauma and therefore showing humility can be key in making sure things don’t go downhill.

– Romans 12:17-18 …’Never repay anyone evil for evil. Take thought for what is right and gracious and proper in the sight of everyone. 18 If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.’…

You and the trauma survivor may not agree about everything, but you can still seek to live at peace with them. There may be times that someone who has suffered trauma may be triggered and act out of their pain and if you respond to these actions with the wrong response it can cause things to escalate into an argument. If you can step back and see that they are acting this way because they are overwhelmed by what they are going through, then you can empathize with them and turn the situation around.

 

Final Thoughts

 

All that said, no one is perfect and never makes mistakes. Please have compassion on yourself too. This is why we have the tool of ‘apologizing’ when things are tough.  If you ask God to help you apply the above scriptures as you seek to support those who have experienced trauma you will be well on your way to being greatly used of God in the recovery of those you seek to support.

It is vital that one places their relationship with God first so that He can speak to them about how to help those who they seek to assist. Helping those who have suffered trauma is not always easy, but it is a very worthwhile pursuit and can ‘transform’ and even ‘save’ lives. It is wise to build a supportive community where possible or seek God about where to be ‘built up’ in order to continue assisting those one desires to help.

The heart of God is to help the broken, and as Christians and those called to be like Christ, we are all called to allow God to use us to restore shattered lives. Well done for desiring to bless the Father’s heart by seeking to learn how to love those who God loves. Remember that God is close to the brokenhearted and therefore as you get closer to them, you will get closer to the heart of God. Always remember God loves you too and as He pours His love through you, He also pours His love ‘into’ you.