Below is a list of reasons that someone could be experiencing trapped emotional, mental and physical pain (and problematic issues) due to previous negative experiences:

– If someone has an overwhelmingly negative experience and no one was there to empathize, nurture, and speak the truth to them about an event (when the trauma occurred) then ‘the chemical’ reaction and state someone is in during the trauma can become trapped in one’s physiological, mental, emotional and spiritual being. This is often the cause of ‘triggers’ when the person experiences something in their current environment that has some similar characteristics of a previous negative event. The trapped, ’emotions’, ‘chemical reactions’ and ‘mental processes’ may be activated and cause the body to ‘re-experience’ similar responses to those they experienced during the past event.

– Buried pain can be stored in a part of the brain, the cells of one’s body and often in various organs from a traumatic event that has not been processed (this pain could be felt constantly or ‘triggered’ when the person experiences certain stimuli that mimic a past traumatic event).

– Lies can become embedded in the mind or psyche from a traumatic event. These beliefs can be formed in times of traumatic events based on experiences that can be ‘encapsulated’ in overwhelming chemicals released during times of trauma and embedded in the body and brain. The beliefs that were experienced at the moment of trauma and pain such as, ‘I am not safe’ or ‘people can not be trusted’ are attached to powerful chemical responses that impact the body and create various physiological responses. The power of these ‘encapsulated’ beliefs can not be underestimated because, at the time that these beliefs were formed, there is an ‘overload’ of chemicals released that causes this to be ‘imprinted’ into one’s brain and body. These chemicals are often only released and diffused through trauma after-care.

– Repressed emotions, memories and experiences: traumatic and abusive experiences can result in trapped emotional pain which can manifest in physical pain later on when a person is left in that experience without the proper counsel and aftercare. The lack of help after the experience will result in the suppressing of emotional pain which can further stress the body and impact various bodily systems and organs with too much cortisol, acidity and toxins.

    Human beings are ‘designed’ to experience love, acceptance, nurturing relationships, character growth, healthy affection, affirmation and validation.

    Ideally, humans would experience all of the above by their immediate family: their mother and father and any other extended family such as grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins etc.

    Most people have not had all of these needs met and some have not experienced even a fraction of what a human needs to thrive and grow.

    Children who grow up experiencing neglect, trauma or abuse will experience many significant after-effects if they do not have the needed nurturing and support. Adults who have experienced trauma or negative experiences without proper processing and care will also display various issues and negative effects.

    Various aspects of ‘aftercare’ may include:

– providing immediate physical protection, health care and assistance.

– providing comfort: which can include compassionate words, bringing the child or adult something warm to drink (or something they would enjoy), providing a soft pillow or blanket to cover them etc.

– providing validation: validating someone’s emotions, their experiences and their beliefs. Validation involves allowing someone to express their feelings, experiences and beliefs without any form of self-exalted judgement. Example: the person who has gone through trauma expresses their anger and rage at what has happened to them, and the person helping them validates them by saying, ‘I can hear that you are extremely angry’ without giving their opinion thereby allowing the person to express themselves.

– presenting truth: one can help someone process the beliefs that have formed during the trauma by presenting truth where lies may have formed (such as, ‘I can never be safe again’).

– further processing: the person may need more processing and therapy with someone who has an understanding of trauma or the ability to empathize and speak truth to the person. This may be needed to work through the emotions, beliefs and experiences if this could not be handled in one sitting.

– physical therapy: someone may need physical therapy to help them heal if their body has been impacted by the trauma or negative experience.

– play therapy: children can benefit from this form of therapy as it can aid with ‘processing’ or ‘exposing’ their emotions and beliefs by using toys, objects or play (such as sand trays, dolls, figurines, artwork, drawing etc.).

Some may not be able to thrive and move forwards if they are not having certain essential human needs met such as validation, emotional support, kindness, compassion and empathy. Some may be able to press past the pain and function to a degree, but having these needs met will greatly accelerate the healing process.

  There are also hindrances to one healing from trauma and negative experiences. Therefore, it is very important to explore these variables as they can greatly block one’s progress and ability to heal.

The hindrances to healing can include:

– neglect in various areas;
– rejection;
– emotional wounding;
– lack of love and acceptance;
– lack of affirmation;
– lack of encouragement;
– lack of healthy affection; (where appropriate: a handshake, pat on the shoulder, a hug, etc.);
– lack of inclusion (being ignored or ostracized by those around them);
– lack of friendship;
– lack of understanding relationships;
– lack of anyone willing to learn about one’s pain or go out of their way to learn about something that the person needs or desires;
– unhealthy relationships (strife, continual arguments and division without any healing and reconciliation).

   Below are some tools that can aid one in processing traumatic experiences:

– support from skilled ‘listeners’ (those who know how to ‘listen’ without judgement or trying to give advice when someone simply needs someone to listen to them)

– loving relationships (those who will show unconditional love and support and provide assistance where possible regarding various areas. This could include helping someone with their laundry or taking them to appointments etc.)

– friendship (friends that will listen, care for and spend time with a person such as inviting them over for tea/coffee, taking them on trips and being their peer)

– support groups (each person is unique and what works for one person may not be the same for another. Some people may benefit greatly from support groups whereas others may benefit more with one on one counselling)

– spiritual and prayer support (those who have people in their life who pray for them and help them work through spiritual issues often make great strides in their healing journey)

– ‘family’ relationships: some people have to separate from their family of origin due to abuse or negative relationships and, therefore need others to include them in family days, birthdays, holidays and ‘be their family’. The need to be part of a family is another essential aspect of healing and one of the best forms of recovery.

    The most important thing to note is that even if trauma has occurred many years ago if one is provided with the needed support after the fact one can experience healing from past events. Someone who speaks loving words and shows empathetic actions towards another who has experienced trauma can pour healing into deeply infected wounds that originated a very long time ago. Buried trauma is often the cause of many struggles and issues that may need to be addressed through trauma care and compassion. Immense healing can occur even after the trauma has been stuck for a long time.

    The pain that many people experience after trauma or abuse remains due to not having a loving and compassionate person to listen to their pain, acknowledge what has occurred and empathize with them in their suffering.

    People can ‘start’ to heal the moment that they feel heard. There is a need for trauma and pain to be first, acknowledged, and then for the person to experience the proper ‘aftercare’, ’empathy’ and ‘love’ for them to be able to heal and move forwards.