Dynamics that Keep Abuse in Place in a Church Setting, and How to Address Them

A Christian church functions somewhere on a continuum from healthy to cult-like. A healthy church is one in which all members, including leaders, love and help each other.

Among other things, a healthy church will have an awareness of the dynamics of abuse. They will understand how to protect the vulnerable against oppressors.

A cult church is one in which the oppressors are actually in positions of leadership. In cult churches, horrific deeds regularly take place in darkness, even while a smiling face is presented to the public.

Every church and every Christian organization is somewhere on a continuum, from healthy to cult-like. Here are a few of the dynamics to watch for to help you know if a church or Christian organization is approaching cult-like-ness to a greater or lesser degree.

I want to emphasize that as long as things are going well in the life of a church-goer, these rules for the most part won’t be tested. It is usually only when there are problems in a person’s life that these negative characteristics will become noticeable.

Obedient Robot Christianity

This pressure to obey church and family authorities is a crucial lynchpin to keeping all kinds of abuse in place within the church setting (mind control, domestic abuse, and sexual abuse).

When authorities are unquestioned in significant areas, abuse can thrive.

Blog posts I’ve written on this topic include:

That “Obey Your Leaders and Submit to Their Authority” Scripture: Examining Hebrews 13:17 A close examination of an oft-quoted Scripture. This eventually became a chapter in Untwisting Scriptures #2.

“Worm Theology”

This is a pejorative term for the teaching of self-degradation, common in conservative Christianity, springing from writings of a few Puritans, who wrote much about how we Christians are all worms.

This teaching is important to maintain in the atmosphere of an abusive church, because the oppressors will mouth it hypocritically, while the victims and potential victims of abuse will take it to heart.

These blog posts are responses to either the general teaching of “worm theology” or specific sermons or blog posts written by others. This false teaching permeates many churches and allows for great destruction.

The No-Speak Rule

This rule shows up variously as “don’t gossip,” “don’t complain,” “don’t make false accusation,” “don’t take up an offense for others,” “don’t contaminate others with your stories or make them feel uncomfortable,” “don’t divide the church,” all with several Scripture verses. So the Bible seems to be used effectively against the oppressed and in favor of the oppressor. But this is not what the Bible teaches.

Here are a few blog posts addressing the no-speak rule.

The double standards in the “no gossip” admonition : Double standards regarding gossip are rampant in churches. This post explains some of those.

Pronoun Trouble that can keep the oppressed in a place of bondage : An analysis of a particular passage of Scripture that seems to tell readers not to speak about the wrong others have done against them.

The Rule of Suffering

Though the Bible does teach that God refines us through suffering (as we look to Jesus Christ in the midst of our dark circumstances), some Christian churches teach that suffering is actually to be desired and perhaps even sought out. Some will tell wives when they come for help with their abusive husbands that they are “called to suffer” in their marriages.

Here are some blog posts addressing that false teaching.

Is God Glorified Through Our Suffering? An examination of what church leaders sometimes teach about this concept and what the Bible actually says.

Teaching that All Anger is Sinful (aka, “you have no rights”)

Righteous anger or sinful? A response to the Women’s Study Bible : The Women’s Study Bible is a Bible with interlinear commentary written by prominent women leaders in the conservative evangelical world. This blog post analyzes what they have written about anger (it is always sinful) and explains Biblically that they are wrong.

A Faulty Understanding of Repentance, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation

Christians who have been offended, sinned against, treated cruelly, and harmed are told that first and foremost, they need to forgive. Then they need to be reconciled to the offender. Sometimes this is without the offender even offering any show of repentance. But sometimes he does offer a show of repentance, and then the pressure on the harmed one to reconcile is even greater.

These blog posts examine Scripture to look at these often abusive practices in churches, knowing that God wants to protect the oppressed.

“How to handle those ‘forgive and forget’ Scriptures”

Assuming that the one who wants help is the one with the Sin Problem

There is a style of counseling in the fundamentalist and conservative evangelical world that calls itself “Biblical counseling” (formerly “nouthetic counseling”), which regularly points the finger at the one asking for help, no matter how dire her situation. Though this counseling method is actually based on the teachings of one man, Jay Adams, it has been so propagated, with so many Bible verses, that many have simply assumed to be true.

I’ve written several blog posts to refute this style of counseling; here are just a few of them.

Getting help with an “angry husband,” according to “Biblical counseling”

Teaching that Righteousness is an Outward Thing (appearance, activities) instead of an Inward Thing (fruit of the Spirit, love, joy, peace, etc)

Wolves in sheep’s clothing and shepherd’s clothing love to hide in churches in which they can easily appear godly through their noticeable church activities, their “anointed” preaching style, their exalted prayer, and even their saintly (or hipster, or friendly, or humble) demeanor. Here are a few posts on the topic:

How easy it is to appear righteous

My heart, as a Christian, is for other Christians to know the true Jesus Christ, the one shown us in the Scriptures, not the unrecognizable one as He is presented in many, many churches and other Christian organizations today.

Without doubt there is value in obeying non-abusive authorities . . .

just as there is value in guarding our tongues and hearts and speaking carefully and judiciously . . .

just as there can be a strengthening and maturing that comes through suffering . . .

just as there is value in truly forgiving and reconciling when possible . . .

just as it’s important for Christians to repent and walk in righteousness.

But the Bible teaches that the heart of God is for His people who are being oppressed and His heart is opposed to the oppressor. This is true even and especially when the oppressor is in a position of religious authority.

I pray that many, many more Christians will come to acknowledge this truth. I pray that instead of silencing and shaming the victims and telling them just to forgive, they will truly feel and show the care and concern for those who have been harmed, the care that reflects the heart of their Father and Shepherd.

This is a huge part of what a healthy church will look like.

You can find the article above at this link:

Dynamics that Keep Abuse in Place in a Church Setting, and How to Address Them

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